It will all be over when they turn 18, some say. But how many of us still use our parents for help, or have lived with them past the age of 18, or maybe even moved out and then moved back. Kids will forever be a part of your life, no matter their age.
It was her daughters first birthday and she was at a stand-still on who was going to attend the party. There were some concerns that drama might occur during the party. She was 22 years old now and the blended family life was still quite the inconvenience. She didn’t know how to approach her family invites, do I just invite my mom, my dad and stepmom, or maybe neither. In the end she had to coordinate two different times for both to attend the same party. This was the only way to ensure they wouldn’t run into one another. All while missing out on actually enjoying the planning stages of her daughter’s first birthday party.
My husband is another example of someone over 18 dealing with separated parents. His parents recently separated and although we have been in a blended family for over 8 years now and had figured things out for ourselves, this was a whole new type of blended family. After having a few separate events and trying to attend sporting events for his sibling we had enough of the awkwardness. Instead of having to worry about taking our children to two different houses to celebrate holidays two separate times, we decided that most holidays will just be done at our house and everyone who wants to can attend.
As I present in the stories above, a blended family just adds a little more chaos to this adventure we call life, but in no way does it have to complicate things…. (too much.)
Some think they will only have to deal with co-parenting until the child/children are 18 years old and this may be true to a certain point. You may not have to go back and forth between parents to deal with scheduling or decisions, based on the fact that the 18 year old can legally make some on their own now. But what about birthdays after 18? And then a wedding, family holidays, children of their own, birthday parties or even sporting events for their children? All of these events include potential invites for both parents or neither all depending on how the last 18 years went.
It is up to us, the adults, the ones whom placed our child/children in this blended family situation to do the best we can to make this new life style as smooth as possible. Every blended family is different and has its own complications, but we have to do our very best to make it work. If it’s not working you need to do the research and put in the work to make it the best possible. We only get one life, live it and make it one you love.
In my future, I would love to see all four of my stepsons parents at his birthdays, his kids birthdays and future sporting events. I want my stepson to feel comfortable inviting us all on the same text message and not have concerns about who can show up or making sure we show up at two different times or on two different days. If he is hosting the family event then we should all be able to attend and be cordial adults in the presence of him and his friend and or family.
Let’s be mature adults here guys!!! 🙂
Would love to hear some of your experiences in a blended family if you are 18 or older. Comment below or message me!!