When we had our first daughter, my husband was not yet working the fire schedule. Instead, he was in school which consisted of late night studying and early mornings. Due to this schedule and the fact that I was breastfeeding, I did most of the bedtime routine and late night wake-ups with my daughter. However, there were numerous nights she woke up not hungry and I was tired, so my husband would study with her on his chest or walk her around.
Even though I felt tired most nights, I tried my best to embrace the fact that my job was to keep that little thing alive no matter how sleep deprived I was. When my first became so stubborn with only allowing mommy to put her to bed, I swore I would make my husband be more involved with the second. But by this time, he was working a Kelly schedule filled with unpredictable overtime shifts, so bedtime routine once again fell on me. In addition to my babies not knowing when daddy would be home or gone, brother also came and went. The only thing that was consistent, was that I was always home- so I understood why the girls became so deeply attached.
It is also one of the reasons that I am a stay at home mom: to try give them stability in all of the areas we can control. It was very hard to find the best routine for me with a toddler and a newborn and no one to help, not including the nights I would have my stepson as well. I did the best I could to embrace the fact that I was a stay at home mom and wouldn’t have to wake up sleep deprived the next morning and have to go to work. Sometimes that meant shows for the toddler until I was able to get the newborn to sleep, other times it meant someone was going to have to cry while the other was put to bed. Not until just recently (they are 4 and almost 2) do I have a decent routine that works for the girls.
The hardest thing is keeping that routine when brother or dad are home- which quite often means “shutting down the house” for a while until they are asleep. When my husband is home, he and our son will escape to the garage, while the nights that my husband is at work, my stepson sits in his room and reads. He has a new found love for reading and his quiet time which makes this an easy transition while I try to keep the routine consistent with the girls.
My oldest daughter has finally found a new enjoyment of cuddling with daddy and falling asleep. It took her time to get use to him putting her to bed, and I know one day they’ll both be begging for daddy not mommy. For now, I will embrace the cries for mommy and middle of the night wake ups just to come snuggle with mommy in her small bed.
There are times where I struggle with minimal patience to put the girls to bed, but I try to remind myself there will be nights where I lay alone in bed wondering when they’ll be home or where they are. For now, I will try my best to enjoy that they are safe at home in bed close by, even if I have to lay on their floor for 45 minutes while they work to fall asleep.
Love your children while they want you to, because one day you’ll be the one chasing them around the house begging for attention.
|This was the first night the girls both fell asleep on me in one of their own beds ❤ (They were missing daddy and wanted to be together)
Jade San Nicolas
Follow me on Instagram @themeltingpotafb
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