How do I help my son prepare for his transition back to his mom’s?
I wrote a blog on how I prepare for my son’s transition into my home, but some of you have been asking how I start or help the transition back to his mom.
I will be honest he has had a pretty regular schedule for most of the years that he can remember, so he ALMOST knows how his own schedule works.
We do threes and fours. We have him for three and she will have him for four, and the following week it’ll be the opposite. Exact 50/50.
Some may ask why we only get two weekend days a month, and due to what his mom and dad’s work schedules are this is what works best for us. With that being said, he does on occasion ask: “is tonight when I go to my mom’s or tomorrow?”
Usually I begin his transition the day before he goes home. This transition does not only affect him, but his sisters as well!! Here are a few tips on how I prepare when my stepson to return to his mom’s.
- Prepare – I know each week what is going on during the entire week, so I can use events as excitement for his transition. For example: This week, he goes to his mom’s after school and then has a football game. Starting Thursday morning, I will start to comment how fun his first game is going to be and that I am sure his mom is excited to take him. With this being said, his sisters are in the same room so they also hear brother is leaving soon. I also remind them that their brother has a football game, so we will get to see him at his game.
- Plan Activities or something special – If the girls seem to be disturbed that he is leaving (some days are easier than others) I will look ahead and plan something fun, or let them know what we get to do together while brother is at his mom’s. Maybe a play date with a friend, or even just a movie night with me.
- Day prior – The day prior and day of, I will ask maybe once or twice if there is anything that he needs or wants to take from our house to his mom’s. This could be clothes for sporting events, or toys that he has wanted to play with at his other house.
- Morning of – The morning of transition day, I remind him that he goes to his mom’s tonight, and to remember to pick up his room before he leaves. (Or the night prior if his mom is getting him after school the next day.)
- Explain when he returns – Sometimes when the girls hear me saying these things, the oldest will ask if brother has to go to his mom’s, and I tell her yes, but he’ll be home in three days or we will see him at some extra-curricular activity. If dad has been at work, and my stepson misses him and is struggling leaving our house because he would rather be here with dad when he gets home, I look at the calendar and tell him when they’ll both be home together next or a fun activity they have planned.
If anyone else does anything they think helps their step-kid(s) or Bio kids comment below and share some tips ❤
|Little trip to the park before school ❤|
Jade San Nicolas
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