I couldn’t take it anymore, I handed her off to daddy while we both cried!

Sometimes we as mommas need to know to take a break before we break.
The hardest days for me are the ones when my husband comes home tired. I know he needs sleep- not only to be patient with me and the little ones, but his health depends on it! He works a minimal 24 hours each shift, and although he may get to sleep some nights or take occasional short naps in between calls there are times where he comes home sleep deprived. He will try his best to give us all a few minutes of his attention before he passes out in our bed or on the couch- sometimes in the middle of the day after telling me he doesn’t need a nap today, “Just going to rest my eyes!” 
I get it, I’ve been there. I use to work as a paramedic and I’ve worked nights, or 24’s on an ambulance. I have also had a toddler and newborn baby in which neither liked to sleep when it was actually night time. I know how he feels so I understand that he needs to sleep, and fortunately we’ve created a lifestyle that we can live off of one income. With that being said I am a stay at home mom. So when he comes home sleep deprived we are both fortunate that I do not have to leave him with kids and head to work.
Butttttt…
For some reason, these are the days that are the hardest for me. He is home but not of any help because he is asleep, so I try my best to keep my mindset at as if he wasn’t home.
Some of you may say, ‘well if you need a nap take one, make him stay awake.’ Ladies my man takes care of me 95% of the time! If I need something he will give it!! So these rare occasions I try to do him a solid and let him sleep!
It was one of those days when I just could not gather myself all day. He took his nap and the kids were all good but I was still a mess from the stress all day. It was time to put the kids to bed and then my plan was going to try go out with some friends. The older toddler went to bed pretty easy but the little one….
Well she knew I was up to something!!! She must have smelled it!!
She would not fall asleep, I spent up to an hour that night trying to put our nugget to sleep, and slowly I began to lose it! I was arguing with myself in my head.
“Forget it your baby needs you, don’t go out, you can do it another time.” 
“No, no, you need this. Give her to daddy.”
”No he needs a break too, you’ll be ok. Put her to sleep and then you can relax and go to bed early.”
This back and forth battle continued for a while until finally I began to cry. I was so frustrated with her I couldn’t do it anymore.
I walked out to my husband- who was very supportive about me going out that night and handed over the crying baby, crying myself. I said, “I am going to break I need to leave.” I handed her over and went out and sat in the car crying. Again, I began to battle back and forth in my head. 
“Go.”
“Don’t go.”
“You need this.”
I decided to start driving and see how far I got.
Right when I was about to turn around my husband texted me.
“We are fine babe, go have fun.”
He is amazing. So I kept driving. I went to a little get together at a friends house and was able to relax and have fun with all my mom friends!! I came home refreshed and ready to take on the next day.
Sometimes it is a book that can reset me, Sometimes it is a hot steamy shower alone in the dark! Sometimes I need to get out of my homebody mode and get out with some friends!
Ladies self-care is so important!! 
It can be something small like setting aside sometime to read a book, take a bath, go get a massage or even something big like a weekend getaway with friends!!
Audiobooks in the car! Click on my link below to get 50% off your first book.
New yoga gear and taking a new class, with a friend or even by yourself!
Treating yourself to some new cloths or shoes! ❤ This shopping needs to occur without the kids of course. 
Take care of yourself! The only way you can love and take of the people around you is when you care for yourself! You need to be the best version of you!! (Stepmoms – This means maybe taking a break too! From your kids, his kids or “our” kids.)
Your Truly 
Jade San Nicolas 

 

 

Follow me on Instagram and Join our 30 day Self Care Challenge!! @themeltingpotafb

2 Comments

  1. My husband works second shift (and sometimes third shift too), so I can totally relate to this post! The days he works, I feel like a single parent, and often when he is home he's sleeping, so I pretend he's not even there so that I won't resent him for being home but not helping out with the kids/provide me a break! I recently took a personal day from work so that I could spend some time with myself; got my nails done, a massage, did some shopping…it was glorious! Keep up the great content! It's SO nice to know I'm not alone.

    Like

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