Why We Decided to Have No More Children

Ok, guys let’s be real: I think I could hold a sleeping baby forever! Or sit and watch kids play and laugh all day long! I love listening to them giggle, tell stories to each other, swing on the swings, or make a fort with each other … but me and my husband decided to stop having kids. We used to joke about having a soccer team, and he was always amazing with kids so I was like yes, let’s do this! 🙂

Then I became a full-blown stepmom, not just a part time friend, to his son. I lived with them, fed him, bathed him, disciplined him, taught him and made all the same commitments that a mother would. When he was about 3 years old, we decided that we wanted another child. So we picked a wedding date, and turned on the baby making factory. Took about 7 months before I got pregnant, and we found out the morning of our wedding! It was not a surprise of course, we had been trying! Yes, I said about 7 months, and then we were married. We had already been together for 2 years, and the wedding was small and simple, easy to plan. I believe we had about 40 who attended, which was amazing because we were able to not only connect with everyone, but actually enjoy one another. 

Nine months later, Kennedy came along. Oh my goodness, if I could share the look on my face when I first saw this alien looking baby when she came out of my vagina. This is seriously where the crying laughing emoji should be placed. Don’t get all offended guys, maybe your baby came out precious looking, but my sweet Kennedy was covered in all that white sticky stuff and was all purple. I loved her, but the look captured on my face! After 45 minutes of pushing, I was handed a cute baby alien. I really hope some of my close friends read this and approach me to talk about this! I would love to share a laugh. And yes, I will share not only this blog, but the picture with Kennedy one day ❤ Of course I loved her from the minute she started growing in my belly, and never wanted to let go when I had her. It’s probably why she never slept good until she was almost 4. We will save that for another blog. Kennedy wasn’t the best sleeper: up every two hours feeding; then after breastfeeding stopped, she was up every two hours looking for her binky; then when we broke the binky, she was up every few hours looking for the mommy. I may have lost my S**t a few times at 1am. Motherhood, am I right? 

A few years later, along came Reagan. Gathering from the conversations my husband and I had been having, I knew she would most likely be my last baby- so I have tried, as I have with J and Kennedy, to soak it all up. It was hard having a toddler who didn’t like sleeping AND a newborn. And on top of that… a blended family schedule and a Fire Fighter husband. I do not recall how bad it was now, but I know there were plenty times where I cried because I was so tired, or felt like I was having to hold my eye lids open. I still played the role of a mother to my stepson, and did school drop offs, homework, attended school activities, and sporting events. It was rough, and sometimes I didn’t know what on earth I was thinking. But now, now that my little one is two and I feel like I’m not a zombie anymore, sometimes I wonder if I could have another. I will be honest: I think that’s just the natural mom in me. I think the woman in me is made to make babies and that’s why I feel like I could have more- but when I use my brain and not only remind myself of how tired I was, and how much of J and Kennedy’s life I missed out on while being tired from having a newborn… I know having these three babies is enough.

Having three allows me to share myself with each of them, and still find a little time for my husband and a little time for me. Having two girls is the best thing that I think that could have happened in our blended family. When J is at his mom’s, he is not concerned of missing out on any boy time, and when he’s gone and his dad is at work, it is girl time. Whenever Kennedy starts to miss her daddy or brother, I am able to say we are having special girl time and she feels better. As the girls age, we can go out and watch girl movies, shop or get our nails done when the boys are gone. When the boys are home and Jonny wants some one-on-one time with J (usually because their schedules have been mismatched) we are able to title it as “boy time”, not J getting extra time with his dad because of his blended family situation. 

Silly other reasons to stop having more kids:

I have two hands: I can only hold two little hands while crossing the road. (J is big enough to cross without having to hold a hand)

I have two arms: so when J is not home, I can easily snuggle both girls.

Attending J’s sports now isn’t a problem … as the girls age and they all attend sports, I hope to be able to keep up.

I am sure I could write an entire blog on why we have 8 kids … if we did. But for now, this is titled why no more kids. I love my family and appreciate being able to have and hold my healthy children every day!

Hope you aren’t offended by the things I wrote in here, just another blog about my life, and why WE decided to stop having kids ❤

Ps I am sure if I had a different blended family dynamic, not only would I have a different number of ours babies but an entirely different blog to write!

Feel free to share your own stories!

Follow me on Instagram @themeltlingpotafamilyblog

Yours Truly

Jade San Nicolas 

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