These are just my tips and what works for my blended family situation. I understand we all have our own unique situation and I hope some of these tips help you.
- Let it go!! There will be no perfect or easy way to do this … There will be days your child may not have the right shoes or the right shirt – it will be ok. I try to follow a rule I learned from another stepmom, Jamie Scrimingeour – the 5-5-5 Rule. Will it matter in 5 years, will it matter in 5 months and will it matter in 5 min?
- Sometimes you may have to schedule or request certain clothes ahead of time. Maybe a simple message like, “Please add J’s soccer shirt into his school bag today so we have it for Saturday,” a few days ahead of time. Sometimes it’ll take planning. Try your best to not place the child in the middle. There is an age (this will be different for each family) where the child can become responsible for certain things (Uniform or sports equipment). But remember it’s not their fault they live between two homes and they may forget. I am an adult and I forget stuff all the time!
- You might have to invest some money into new clothes or shoes. There have been many occasions where we threw away shoes and went out to buy new ones because we were unsatisfied with the condition the old ones were in. This may not have anything to do with his mom as there has been many occasions he has arrived and we’ve asked about his shoes. He would tell us he has a few shoes over there but chose those ones. (Sometimes he doesn’t see the condition they are like us adults do.)
- We all grow up with different families and cultures and sometimes you may have a different opinion on clothing styles, and we have to understand that! You may not agree with what the child is wearing but you have to again think about the 5-5-5 rule. There may be occasions where you have to request the child changes their clothes.
- Plan ahead – you may know clothing or shoes are an issue, so figure out how to deal with it before it happens.
Hope you were able to get something out of this! Would love to hear from you 🙂 Email me or find me on Instagram @themeltingpotafb
Jade San Nicolas